Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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