I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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