Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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