you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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