that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
