I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
