You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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