So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
