we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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