I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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