well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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