I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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