OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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