She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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