I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
