There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
