So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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