is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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