Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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