Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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