I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
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I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
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Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize