Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
