Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
