In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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