yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
