You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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