My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
