Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
