Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
