I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize