she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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