Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't notice because vodka
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Randomize
