If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
