so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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