I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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