I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize