yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would ride that face into the sunset
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
