We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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