He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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