And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
