He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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