Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
