I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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