If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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