oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Randomize
