i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
