Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
