The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
