the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
