So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
