There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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