i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
