There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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