can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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