just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize