If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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