I heard we made out
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
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Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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