Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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