also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
