can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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